Change is the only constant in life

Summer has ended for the Northwest, even though we had a 70 degree day only two weeks ago. The weather has been noticeably different. The leaves have changed color, the grass is growing a little bit slower, the surface of the roads are a damp, and the clocks are turning back this weekend. Here is Seattle, we were fooled this summer with consistent heat and sunshine. It was a good thing. Lots of time to spend outdoors playing, laughing, and needing cool refreshment along the way. It seems like the change this year between seasons has been swift, yet, minute by minute, the world has been slowly changing and preparing for the fall and winter resting time.

We are privileged to know and support local farmers, Matt and Christina,  and I can't help myself by checking in on them daily through Instagram (@GreenbowFarm) and at our weekly trip to the farmers market, where they have a stand to sell their goods. Farmers are still the best at cataloging change. They work with it every day and are so in tune with the physical changes around us. So much so that they feel change and respond accordingly. Those of us who are wrapped up on the "work" road (read the previous post in this blog to get the reference) have a harder time noticing, or feeling, the subtle but also constant change around us.

It makes sense, logically, that change is also very hard for us, especially when we feel as though it has blind-sided us. We are unequipped to deal with or even acknowledge some of the change that is going on around us, perhaps for weeks or months beforehand. Personally, there have been moments of change in my life that I desperately wanted to completely ignore because it was too hard to "go there". But there have also been moments of change where I was able to see the opportunity to be a part of the change; to allow it to transform me and for me to give my gifts to it. I gravitate towards this kind of change today. I seek it out. I look for it. I try, desperately at times, to feel it. So much of my professional development as a therapist, advocate, and human being can besummed up in the desire to, as the Dali Lama once proclaimed, "Be the change you wish to see in the world". I have felt a freedom since looking at change in this way. I have owned my part in the change, because it is happening, whether I want it to or not.

As we set our clocks back an hour this Sunday at 2AM PST, I am reminded of a few things:

1) I get an extra hour of sleep (I also need to set my son's clock back because he will wake us up at 6am if we don't). 2) There is change available to me and the opportunity to be transformed because of it. 3) The farmer is harvesting food and goods and transforming our lives by giving their change to us.

Peace. 

Why is "work" always first when we talk about balance in our lives?

Work/Life balance...What does this say about us and our values today?

I consciously default to this way of thinking at least five times per day Monday through Friday. Typically, Sundays are the focus and planning days; where I work with my wife to plan out the upcoming week. Often, we are talking about the work week, most of which is consumed by our work schedules and our son's school and extracurricular activities. We trade work schedules with each other, organize drop-off and pick-up times for our son, plan out our meals, make grocery lists, and try to keep up with the fast-paced, often-uncontrollable reality that is being a dual income family in America today. We are extremely blessed and privileged to even have the ability to do what we do each day, but often, I feel as though we are just distracting ourselves with more plans, more work, one more email, one more item on the to-do list. This kind of thinking sometimes works, when everything happens as it is planned. This does not happen most of the time.

What is missing? The other parts of our selves, longing to be connected, nurtured, and cared for by those we love. Life. It's hard to even find or connect with that "non-work" self these days. So much of "life" today is trying to manage things: job, paycheck, bills, savings, education, yard work...the list could go on and on. How do we connect with that deeper self that is always in tune with the world around us and the people in it?

Step 1: Grace, for yourself and others who are continuously tempted to stay on the "work" life road. Being conditioned to always work; towards a promotion, a higher salary, more responsibility, more things that define us can keep us "focused" on the goal-have a better life than those who came before us. This is tempting and where our economy wants us to be. Always wanting more, working harder and harder to get it. In the end, what is left? A hole that can't be filled with things.

Step 2: Search for other roads. Roads that lead us to a deeper understanding of self, others, and the world. These roads can be found in a number of ways. I have found roads by searching my interests, my values, my prejudices, and my identities. They have challenged me, ignited me, and evolved me, so much so, that they have been worth the extra mileage on my heart.

Step 3: Love what you do, as often as you do it. The old saying is true, "It isn't work if you love doing it." We are imprinted, at a very young age, with curiosity, mysticism, and wonder for everything we encounter. Re-connecting with this sense of awe in daily life can dramatically change the perspective. It is connecting with that deeper self, the part of us that knows what we have forgotten.

Step 4: Fail. Often. This has been the hardest part for me to accept, since it goes directly against the "work" life way of moving through the week. I have found that failure is needed in my life just as much as success. Failure tells me that I am not perfect. It is a gift; one which creates space to re-connect with Step 3 and find myself again.

Balance. Life. Work. Grace. Explore. Love. Fail. Repeat.